February 11, 2008

The Value of a Drink

"Sometimes  when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel  shame. Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and  all of their hopes and dreams
.. If  I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams  would be shattered.

Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack  Handy


WARNING:  The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell   
happened to your bra and panties.

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"I  feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the  morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank  Sinatra


WARNING:  The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

~ Henny Youngman

WARNING:  The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.  Coincidence?

I think not."
~ Stephen Wright 


WARNING:  The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can  sing.

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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep.  When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to  heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian  O'Rourke


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

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"Beer  is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin  Franklin


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

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"Without  question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the

wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel  does
not go nearly as well with pizza."

~ Dave Barry
 

WARNING:  The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group Salvation in a can!

~ Dave Howell


WARNING:  The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff  Clavin
of  Cheers.

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it  went:


"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of  buffalo can  only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when
the  herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest  ones at  the back that are killed first This natural selection  is good  for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole  group keeps improving by the regular  killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can  only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of  alcohol, as we know,  kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain  cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the  weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.  That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."   

WARNING:  The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not .

                            

simply inspirational

somewhere in milaor, camarines sur, philippines there lived a fourth grader boy named andoy who would follow this route to school  everyday. he has to cross the rugged plains and cross the dangerous highway where vehicles are recklessly driving to and from. once passed this highway, the boy would take a short cut by passing by the church every morning just to say hi to JESUS, and faithfully say his,

"magandang umaga po "

in bicol dialect. a priest, who was so happy to find innocence so uplifting in the morning, was faithfully watching the boy.

"kamusta andoy! papasok ka na?"

"opo padre..."

he would flash his innocent grin, the priest would be touched. the priest was so concerned that one day he talked to andoy,

"from school...", he advised

"do not cross the highway, you can pass through the church and i can accompany you to the other side of the road... that way i can see that you are home safe.“

"thank you father."

"why don't you go home? why do you stay in this church right after school?"

"i just want to say "hi" to my friend, JESUS,"

the priest would leave the boy to spend time beside the altar, talking by himself, but the priest hid behind the altar to listen to what this boy has to say to his heavenly father.

"you know my math exam was pretty bad today, but i did not cheat - although my seatmate is bullying me for notes...i ate one cracker and drank my water, itay had a bad season and all i can eat is this cracker. thank you for this! i saw a poor kitten that  was hungry and i know how he feels so i gave my last cracker to him ...funny but i am not that hungry.

look, this is my last pair of slippers ... i may have to walk barefooted next week ... you see this is about to be broken. but it is okay at least i am still going to school ... some say we will have a hard season this year and some of my classmates have already stopped going to school. please help them get back to school again, please JESUS? ...

oh, you know, inay had hit me again, it is painful, but i know this pain will pass away; at least i still have a mother... JESUS, you want to see my bruises? i know you can heal them...here...here and....oh ... blood ... i guess you knew about this one huh? please don't be mad at inay. she is just tired and she worries for the food in our table and my schooling that is why she hits us ...

oh, i think i am in love ... there's this pretty girl in my class, her name is anita ... do you think she will like me? anyway, at \ least i know you will always like me, i don't have to be anybody just to please you, you are my very best friend! hey your birthday is two months from now!aren't you excited? i am! wait till you see my gift for you.... but it is a surprise! i hope you will like it! oops, i have to go..."

then he stood up and calls out,

"padre, padre, i am finished talking to my friend. you can accompany me to the other side of the road now"

everyday this routine happens without fail for andoy. father agaton shares this every sunday to the people in his church because he has not seen a very pure faith and trust in JESUS, a very positive look at negative situations.

one christmas day, father agaton was sick so he could not make it to church, he was sent to the hospital. the church was left to 4 manangs who would chant the rosary in 1000 miles per hour would not smile and always find fault in what you do. they are also very well versed in cursing if you irritate them! they were kneeling, saying their kilometric rosary when andoy, coming from his christmas party, playfully dashed in,

"hello JESUS!

"p----! (a curse) bata ka! alam mo nang may nagdadasal dito! alis!"

poor andoy was so terrified,

"where's father agaton? he is supposed to help me cross the street.... and to be able to cross the street i will have to pass by this church ... not only that, i have to greet JESUS. today is his birthday and i have a gift right here...."

just as he was about to get the gift out of his shirt, one manang pulled his shirt and threw him out of the church.

"susmaryosep! (does a sign of the cross fervently) alis kang bata ka, kung hindi matatamaan ka!"

so the boy had no choice but to cross the dangerous side of the road in front of the church. he crossed. there was a blind curve. a fast moving bus came in. the boy was protecting his gift inside his shirt, so he was not looking. there was so little time. the bus hit andoy and he died on the spot. a lot of people crowded the lifeless body of the young boy.

then suddenly, out of nowhere a tall man wearing a white shirt and ants, a face so mild and gentle, but with eyes full of tears. he came and lifted the boy in his arms and he was crying.the curious bystanders nudged the man in white, and asked,

"excuse me sir, are you related to this child? do you know this child?" the man,

his face mourning and in agony answered,

"he was my best friend."

he took the badly wrapped gift in the bloody chest of andoy and placed it near his heart. he stood up and carried the boy away and they both disappeared in sight. the crowd was bewildered.the next day, father agaton learned of the shocking news. he immediately visited andoy's house and wanted to learn more about the man in white. he asked andoy's parents.

"do you know the man who took andoy?"

"a man in white brought him here." sob the mother.

"what did he say?" the father answered,

"he did not say anything. he was mourning. we do not know him and yet he was very lonely at our son's death as if he knew our son very well. there was something peaceful and unexplainable about him. he brought my son home and then he smiled gently. he rubbed andoy's hair away from his face and kissed him on his forehead. then he whispered something to andoy."

"what did he say?",asked the priest. the father began,

"he said to my son... "thank you for the gift ... i will see you soon... you will be with me forever..."

andoy's father continued,

"you know for a while, i felt so wonderful. i cried, but i do not know why. all i know is that i cried tears of joy. i could not explain it father. when that man left, something peaceful came over me. i felt a deep sense of love inside. i could not explain the joy in my heart. i knew my boy is in heaven now . but .tell me father, who is this man that  my son talks to everyday in your church. you should know because you  are always there... except on the time of his death."

father agaton suddenly felt the tears welling in his eyes, with trembling knees, he murmured,

"he was talking to no one....  but....JESUS."

November 20, 2007

Sulat ni Tatay at Nanay sa Atin

Sa aking pagtanda, unawain mo sana ako at pagpasensyahan. Kapag dala ng kalabuan ng mata ay nakabasag ako ng pinggan o nakatapon ng sabaw sa hapag kainan, huwag mo sana akong kagagalitan. Maramdamin ang isang matanda. Nagse-self-pity ako a tuwin sisigawan mo ako.

Kapag mahina na ang tenga ko at hindi ko maintindihan ang sinasabi mo, huwag mo naman sana akong sabihan ng "binge!" paki-ulit nalang ang sinabi mo o pakisulat nalang. Pasensya ka na, anak. Matanda na talaga ako. Kapag mahina na tuhod ko, pagtiyagaan mo sana akong tulungang tumayo, katulad ng pag-aalalay ko sa iyo noong nag-aaral ka pa lamang lumakad.

Pagpasensyahan mo sana ako kung ako man ay nagiging makulit at paulit ulit na parang sirang plaka. Basta pakinggan mo nalang ako. Huwag mo sana akong pagtatawanan o pagsasawaang pakinggan. Natatandaan mo anak noong bata ka pa? kapag gusto mo ng lobo, paulit-ulit mo 'yong sasabihin, maghapon kang mangungulit hangga't hindi mo nakukuha ang gusto mo. Pinagtiyagaan ko ang kakulitan mo. Pagpasensyahan mo na rin sana ang aking amoy. Amoy matanda, amoy lupa. Huwag mo sana akong piliting maligo. Mahina na ang katawan ko. Madaling magkasakit kapag nalamigan, huwag mo sana akong pandirihan. Natatandaan mo noong bata ka pa? pinagtiyagaan kitang habulin sa ilalim ng kama kapag ayaw mong maligo. Pagpasensyahan mo sana kung madalas, ako'y masungit, dala na marahil ito ng katandaan. Pagtanda mo, maiintindihan mo rin.

Kapag may konti kang panahon, magkwentuhan naman tayo, kahit sandali lang. Inip na ako sa bahay, maghapong nag-iisa. Walang kausap. Alam kong busy ka sa trabaho, subalit nais kong malaman mo na sabik na sabik na akong makakwentuhan ka, kahit alam kong hindi ka interesado sa mga kwento ko. Natatandaan mo anak, noong bata ka pa? pinagtiyagaan kong pakinggan at intindihin ang pautal-utal mong kwento tungkol sa iyong teddy bear.

At kapag dumating ang sandali na ako'y magkakasakit at maratay sa banig ng karamdaman, huwag mo sana akong pagsawaan alagaan. Pagpasensyahan mo na sana kung ako man ay maihi o madumi sa higaan, pagtiyagaan mo sana akong alagaan sa mga huling sandali ng aking buhay. Tutal hindi na naman ako magtatagal.

Kapag dumating ang sandali ng aking pagpanaw, hawakan mo sana ang aking kamay at bigyan mo ako ng lakas ng loob na harapin ang kamatayan.

At huwag kang mag-alala, kapag kaharap ko na ang Diyos na lumikha, ibubulong ko sa kanya na pagapalain ka sana ... dahil naging mapagmahal ka sa iyong ama't ina...

June 05, 2005

Touching Story

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms.
The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat.
My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car
in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She
was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy
bridegroom.

This was the scene of ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure
water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried
to make more money. When the assets were
steadily increasing, the affections between us
seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every
morning we left home together and got home
almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in
a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy.
But the calm life was more likely to be affected by
unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony.
Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again
was immersed in her stream of love. This was the
apartment I bought for her.
Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best
draws girls' eyeballs." Her words suddenly
reminded me of my wife. When we just married,
my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will
be very attractive to girls. Thinking of this, I
became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed
my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.

I moved Dew's hands aside and said, "You go to
select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to
do in the company." Obviously she was unhappy,
because I had promised her to go and see with
her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became
clearer in my mind although it used to be
something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife
about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to
her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was
a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing
dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner
was ready soon. Then we watched TV together.
Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing
Dew's body. This was the means of my
entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slight joking way,
suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared
at me for a few seconds without a word.
Apparently she believed that divorce was
something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine
how she would react once she got to know I was
serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just
stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife
with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide
something while talking with her. She seemed to
have got some hint. She gently smiled at my
subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, "He Ning, divorce
her, O.K.? Then we live together." I nodded. I knew
I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her
hand. "I've got something to tell you", I said.
She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the
hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to
open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I
was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious
topic calmly.
She didnt seem to be much annoyed by my
words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm
serious. I avoided her question. This so-called
answer turned her angry. She threw away the
chopsticks and shouted at me, "You are not a
man!"

At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was
weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had
happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give
her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had
gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce
agreement which stated that she could own our
house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt
a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living
ten years with me would become a stranger one
day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was
what I had expected to see. To me her cry was
actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce
which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed
to be firmer and clearer.

A late night, I came back home after entertaining
my clients. I saw her writing something at the
table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found
she was still there. I turned over and was asleep
again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't
want anything from me, but I was supposed to give
her one month s time before divorce, and in the
month's time we must live as normal life as
possible. Her reason was simple: our son would
finish his summer vacation a month later and she
didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and
then asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember
how I entered our bridal room on the wedding
day?" This question suddenly brought back all
those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and
said, "I remember." "You carried me in your arms",
she continued, "So, I have a requirement, that is,
you carry me out in your arms on the day when we
divorce. From now to the end of this month, you
must carry me out from the bedroom to the door
every morning."

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those
sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a
romantic form.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She
laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No
matter what tricks she does, she has to face the
result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words
more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn"t had any body contact since
my divorce intention as explicitly expressed. We
even treated each other as a stranger. So when I
carried her out for the first day, we both appeared
clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is
holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me
a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting
room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters
with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said
softly, "Let us start from today, don"t tell our son."
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down
outside the door.

She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more
easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so
close that I could smell the fragrance of her
blouse. I realized that I hadn"t looked at this
intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found
she was not young any more. There were some
fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, "The
outside garden is being demolished. Be careful
when you pass there."

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to
feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was
holding my sweetheart in my arms. The
visualization of Dew became vaguer.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me
something, such as, where she put the ironed
shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I
nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.

I didn't tell Dew about this.
I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the
everyday workout made me stronger. I said to
her,"It seems not difficult to carry you now."

She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to
carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not
find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my
dresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I
suddenly realized that it was because she was
thinner that I could carry her more easily, not
because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all
the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of
pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to
touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it's time to
carry mum out", he said. To him, seeing his father
carrying his mother out had been an essential part
of his life. She gestured our son to come closer
and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I
was afraid I would change my mind at the last
minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the
bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway.
Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally.
I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our
wedding day. But her much lighter weight made
me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I
could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to
school. She said, "Actually I hope you will hold me
in your arms until we are old."
I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't
notice that our life was lack of such intimacy."
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me
change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew
opened the door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't
divorce. I'm serious."

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched
my forehead. "You got no fever", she said. I moved
her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew", I said, "I can
only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage
life was boring probably because she and I didn't
value the details of life, not because we didn't love
each other any more. Now I understand that since
I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our
child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I
have to say sorry to you."

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a
loud slap and then slammed the door and burst
into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I
ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her
favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the
greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote -- I'll
carry you out every morning until we are old.

June 2008

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